What I want for Chinese New Year…

Is: for my breasts to stop leaking! Pathetic, AND, not at all funny if you were me. Consider this: your other breast leaks milk through the pad, the bra, your top, flows right through continuously down onto the bed sheet, through the mattress protector and INTO the mattress (which is the final straw). Honestly, I feel so helpless!

God, does it mean I can no longer go out (and feed the baby anywhere under the big blue sky)? There was once I was breastfeeding (hmm, discreetly) in Church and when I had a chance to look down- to my horror of horrors - my other side was all wet! How embarrassing!

If there’s a device I wish for its invention for this century, it would be a breast milk stopper.

I’m tired. Tired of this routine of a 5-min bath (nice and clean; ps/for myself, not the baby), then feed her and she throws up (the pediatrician calls this a reflux) her 2 to 3 cupfuls of feed all over me OR the other breast leaks. I can’t even stand my own smell! I must not forget to mention the shooting poo - the deadliest, all which warrants another 5-min bath.

I think: bathing is not the solution. The PROBLEM is: I can’t stop the other breast from leaking.

If I’m running out of time for my 101th bath of the day, or running out of clean clothes to even bother, I just GO. Which means, proceed without a bath. That’s when i stand 10 feet away when I speak to the teacher, the parent, a male friend, a not-so-close friend, a stranger. And when that somebody wants to get up close to have a peek at the baby, I claim : She smells! And ... Of Course they don’t mind. And I have to explain it’s the smelly type of smell, which is a sneaky way of turning to someone in the lift and be the first to say, “Did YOU just fart?” when you just did.

I’m not convinced there is a foolproof solution for this leaking business. I just hope the day will never come for someone running up to me saying, “Excuse me miss, your milk is leaking!” and, it isn’t from my shopping bag of milk cartons. jeanne anne hsi

What a Letdown!

With the first child, I could not understand what mothers meant when they talk about the letdown experience during breastfeeding. I felt as if I was not gaining enough on-the-job training on this one: Does one need to have to go through the engorgement, mastitis, nipple soreness in order to become an expert in breastfeeding?

With the current baby, I was quite taken aback to see the other breast spurting milk out of the nipple, like water shooting out from a fountain jet, while feeding on one side. Each feed feels as if one has a tiny blister with the plaster taken off during a bath – you can handle the pain but you’d rather not have the blister, if it’s in line with God’s will. It is quite strange to see milk coming out of the nipple: drip drip drip like water dropping from a faulty faucet.

What do I do with this letdown? While she’s feeding on one side, I place a towel over the breast that’s having the letdown reflex. Then as soon as she’s fed enough for me to feel comfortable, I take her off to feed her on the letdown side. A baby suckling at the breast is not as painful as letdown milk letting down on its own.

There are many suggestions one can find on the Internet for this ‘overactive letdown reflex’. I’m not here to provide a solution. I’m here to state my side of the pain and to say that even though I’m ‘in pain’, I would still carry on… knowing this is what’s best for me and my baby. And because I’ve gone the miles for the first, there’s no way I would do any less for the second.

So to the Letdown: I’ll just live and let live. jeanne anne hsi