Great Expectations

“People become angry with each other when there are expectations that are not met”, said Fr Radice.

To add on to that, I find that when there are expectations, it gives rise to disappointment when it is not fulfilled. It is better to go into something with open mindedness. One good example I had was when I attended an Inter-Religious-Faith-Training Program. People from all over Asia attended. At feedback time, some were disappointed because the Buddhist monastery that was selected for the program was not run-down enough. It had proper toilet facilities and dormitories to accommodate the participants. It would be impossible to keep someone happy all the time, not to say cater to the needs of everyone.


On a personal note, I have had a hard time making someone happy. If it is not this, it is that. And then, I thought perhaps I should spend even more time and make even more efforts to fulfill that person’s needs. And then what? I realized that even by doing so, there would be other things that this person would gripe about. I cannot. I just can’t. And I can’t even share about it with P. Would I be expecting this person not to have expectations from me? And it would be hard, for this person to hear it, coming from me. I hope someone tells P about it. Having said that, the best thing is for ME (for change always begin with oneself) to learn how to deal with all these. There was a time I feel guilty (guilt is a really, really destructive emotion) for not “fulfilling my promises” (Hey, I didn’t even make a promise, I say it in all earnest but there are circumstances that came up) and I still do, this guilt feeling being so much a part of my personality. But I have a new prescribed mantra: “I have already done my best”, which I chant quietly to myself instead of getting angry and ramming the car with the kids in it.

I used to be so depressed about this particular thing, I thought only in P’s death, I would feel relived AND only in my death, I would not have to deal with P anymore. Right now, I am saying it as a-matter-of-factly. I think I am doing better and spinning in slower circles. And the fact that I am able to reflect about it instead of ranting it. jeanne anne hsi